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Job Posting: Senior Director of Gullible

Published: March 23, 2011

Author: David Rodnitzky

I try to be polite to recruiters – in part because they have a tough job, and also because, well, I guess I’m a nice guy. So when I recently received a LinkedIn message from a recruiter for FindLaw.com, I politely declined the invitation to apply for the position. Here’s the first series of emails (name of recruiter omitted to protect the innocent!)

Hi David,
I work with FindLaw, a Thomson Reuters business based in Sunnyvale. We are expanding our team and looking to hire an Sr. Online Marketing manager to oversee the analytics and PPC initiatives for our internal site (Findlaw.com).
In reviewing your profile, your experience seems to be in line with what we are hiring for and I would love the opportunity to have a discussion with you. If you are open to exploring a new position please let me know, otherwise if you can forward this message on to your network, I would appreciate it!

My response to the recruiter:

Hi [NAME], I worked at FindLaw about 7 years ago and now have my own agency, so I’m no longer on the market.

Had I wanted to be a jerk about this, I could have also added that when I worked at FindLaw seven years ago I was a Senior Online Marketing Manager – the exact position for which she is now hiring. And not that title is the end all, be all, but since then I have had titles like “Director”, “Senior Director”, “Vice President” and “CEO”, so one might conclude that I’m no longer interested in the same exact job I had almost a decade ago. But oh well, I guess you can’t fault a gal for trying, right?
Well, this week, I received a second email from the friendly FindLaw recruiter. And as George Bush Jr. once aptly put it, “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, a fool won’t get fooled again!” Here’s the email correspondence.

Hi David,
FindLaw, a Thomson Reuters business, is growing our team in Sunnyvale. We are looking to bring on board a Sr. Online Marketing Strategist to focus on the PPC initiatives for FindLaw.com.
In reviewing your profile, your background seems to be in line with what we are looking for. If you are interested in exploring this opportunity, please contact me, otherwise if you wouldn’t mind forwarding this along to your network that would be great.
I look forward to speaking with you!

My response:

Hi [NAME],
Thank you for reaching out to me. I have to admit, however, that I am confused by this job posting. You say you are from Thompson – which I know is the company that does water sealant for outdoor wood (like decks and patio furniture) but the company you are talking about is for finding law? Why would an outdoor water sealant company want to help people find law? I am sure that sometimes people do slip and fall on wet wood outside, so perhaps they might need a lawyer, but this is a pretty rare situation I would imagine.
Any light you can shed on this would be appreciated.

You might think that the recruiter would get the joke at this point (or at least check back and see that she had emailed me twice, or perhaps realize that I worked for Thomson – without a “p”), but alas, she did not.

Hi David – I apologize for the confusion. I actually work for Thomson Reuters (no p in thomson) and FindLaw is a division with in our company. Do you have time to chat either today or tomorrow for a bit?

I’m thinking I should write her back about this bridge in Brooklyn I have for sale.

1 S Wacker Drive
Suite 2250

Chicago, IL 60606(650) 539-4124


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